Observations on Growing Older
TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU’VE EVER BEEN, YET THE YOUNGEST YOU’LL EVER BE, SO ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS.
~Your kids are becoming you…and you don’t like them…but your grandchildren are perfect!
~Going out is good… Coming home is better!
~When people say you look “Great”… they add “for your age!”
~When you needed the discount, you paid full price. Now you get discounts on everything… movies, hotels, flights, but you’re too tired to use them.
~You forget names … but it’s OK because other people forgot they even knew you!!!
~The 5 pounds you wanted to lose is now 15 and you have a better chance of losing your keys–than the 15 pounds.
~You realize you’re never going to be really good at anything … especially golf.
~Your spouse is counting on you to remember things you don’t remember.
~The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that, you don’t care to do them anymore.
~Your husband sleeps better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than he does in bed. It’s called his “pre-sleep.”
~Remember when your mother said, “Wear clean underwear in case you GET in an accident”? Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident!
~You used to say, "I hope my kids GET married… Now, “I hope they STAY married!”
~You miss the days when everything worked with just an “ON” and “OFF” switch…
~When GOOGLE, ipod, email, modem were unheard of, and a mouse was something that made you climb on a table.
~You tend to use more 4 letter words … “what?”…“when?”… ???
~Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it’s now not safe to wear it.
~Your husband has a night out with the guys, but he’s home by 9:00 P.M. Next week it will be 8:30 p.m.
~You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you’ve read it.
~Notice everything they sell in stores is “sleeveless”?!!!
~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.
~Now that your husband has retired … you’d give anything if he’d find a job!
~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet…2 of which you will never wear.