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Old Soldiers Never


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Old Soldiers Never

When General Douglas MacArthur retired from the military in 1951, he stated famously, “Old soldiers never die, they just fade away.” But five-star generals are not the only ones who never die:

Golfers never die, they just lose their drive.

Lumberjacks never die, they just pine away.

Accountants don’t die, they just lose their balance.

Bank managers don’t die, they just lose interest.

Vehicle mechanics? They re-tire every day.

Teachers don’t retire, they just mark time.

Roofers don’t retire, they just wipe the slate clean.

Engineers never retire, they just lose their bearings.

Beekeepers never retire, they just buzz off.

Musicians never retire, they just decompose.

Farmers never retire, they just go to seed.

Watchmakers never retire, they just wind down.

Academics never retire, they just lose their faculties.

Painters never retire, they just put a gloss on it.

Tree surgeons never retire, they just branch out.

Old librarians never die, they just check out, become overdue, and lose their circulation.

Old crossword puzzlers never die, they just go across and – hopefully – up.

Old milkmaids never die, they just kick the bucket and lose their whey.

Old plumbers never die, they just get out of sink and go down the drain.

Old teachers never die, they just grade away and lose their principals, their faculties, and their class.

Old math professors never die, they just go off on a tangent.

Old mimes never die, they’re just never heard from again.

Old housemaids never die, they just return to dust.